Welcome to Garrison Hall, formerly known as Harrison - renamed after the administration “saw the signs.” This isn’t just a residence hall; it’s a fortified command center for the enlightened few preparing for World War III. I. Every creaky pipe is part of our state-of-the-art surveillance network, and the flickering hallway lights? Morse code messages from the maintenance staff. The dining court doubles as a ration distribution hub, where the “mystery meat” is clearly part of a government experiments. Residents hold daily “strategy meetings” (the weak-minded call them conspiracy circles) to discuss topics like microchips in student IDs, Wi-Fi mind control, and how the squirrels on campus are spies sent by the government. Sure, the showers only run lukewarm, but that’s just part of the training. Welcome, soldier. Keep your door locked and your third eye open.
Dorm’s secure. Door locked. Foil hat on. Squirrels followed me to class again. Garrison is the last bastion, we have no need for more “corrupted” among us.
Mystery meat tasted funny. I’ve been exposed. It has been an honor. Do not let my sacrifice been in vain.