WELCOME TO HAWK TUAH HALL

Welcome to Hawk Tuah, brother. It's the last bastion of liberty on this godforsaken campus. Every morning begins with the screech of an eagle echoing through the halls, reminding us that freedom never sleeps. The flag in the lobby waves twenty-four hours a day, powered entirely by raw patriotism and tears. The bathrooms? Shared, because we believe in equal rights. The vending machines offer only beef jerky and Mountain Dew And the Wi-Fi? Let's just say freedom moves faster than that signal ever will. Fly high? We can't even get a single bar. Still, in Hawk Tuah Hall freedom isn't just a value, it's a lifestyle. Sleep when you're dead, salute when you pass the RA, and remember: liberty may not connect, but it never disconnects. God bless Hawk-Tuah, and God bless our Campus.